While Suicide Prevention Month is coming to an end, unfortunately suicide never does.
Please, take a moment of silence to pray for and think about those we have lost to suicide.
I realize this is a dark topic and not easy for many of you to think about let alone read about it. But I need you to do so because at some point someone may come into your life who starts to show signs of thinking about taking their own life. For some of us we have been in that lonely, helpless place where we think it is the only way out. And then there are some of us who know of someone who has taken their own life and the grief and confusion is unlike any other type of grief.
When a person has depression, bipolar disorders and/or other psychological disorders they are at war with their diagnoses and suicide is a way to end the war. Unfortunately it is not uncommon for people to make multiple attempts prior to committing suicide.
People with chronic pain and illness are often at risk of suicide. Not only because of the ongoing pain they experience but because they too are often battling depression and anxiety that becomes too much to bear.
We are six months into this pandemic and suicide has increased significantly. There are people who have been impacted by Covid that it has led to taking their own life or suicide ideation.
It can be difficult to wrap your brain around how a person can think about taking their own life. Unfortunately they are up against brain chemistry, disease and/or traumatic events that often cause a person to be in this place. While you may have not experienced such thoughts, you can put yourself in their shoes and feel empathy for them.
As I have shared in previous posts I have dealt with my fair share of depression, anxiety, postpartum anxiety and suicide ideation. While I never made an actual attempt, I have had close calls. For me suicide ideation has been a way to cope, my escape hatch if you will. There have been times since my adolescences when my depression and grief took over and my typical methods of coping were no longer working.
As a retired therapist I have worked with quite a few older children, teens and young adults who experienced suicide ideation. It was more the norm for the parents or even partners to say things like “Oh they are just wanting attention!” or “They are just crying for help!”
Every time I would reply with “You are absolutely right. They do need help and thank God they let us know because we can do something about it.”
In other words “you’re damn right it is so listen up.”
It is my personal belief that suicide ideation, like self-harming behaviors, keep people alive. When a person recognizes that they are thinking about suicide without a plan or a means they usually seek help or find another way to cope. The failure occurs when the people who should be listening and take them seriously but do not. When say parents, teachers or partners blow a person off it can lead to suicide attempts.
Here are some tips on what to do if someone shares with you their thoughts of suicide:
- Stay calm.
- Provide empathy “For you to be thinking like this tells me you are really struggling. I am so sorry. What can I do to help?”
- Assess for a plan and a means.
– If they do not know how they would commit suicide then they most likely are struggling with suicide ideation. They need help, no doubt, but may not be in immediate danger. Usually residential or outpatient therapy will be the best option. If they happen to already have a therapist contact them immediately to let them know what is happening.
-If they have a plan and a means (ex: I am going to use a gun and my cousin has one and I know the code to the box) they need immediate help. If you do not think you can get them to admit themselves into an inpatient unit then you call 9-11 and let them know what is occurring. Usually there is at least one police officer trained in mental health and they dispatch that officer.
- After the person is in treatment getting professional help you need to use self-care. Helping someone through suicide ideation or talking about making an attempt is incredibly emotional.
Please, if you yourself are struggling please reach out for help. Let your partner, family member or a friend know. If you have a therapist please call and let them know what you are experiencing. They will help determine what course of action is best for you. You can also call The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255. There is help.
I encourage you to check in on your loved ones. Make sure they are doing okay. We need to be checking on one another espeically these days.
And while you are at it, do a check in on yourself. Sometimes the weight of all the stressors going on in our homes, community, country and world come crashing down and we do not always recognize that we too are not coping as well as we normally do. If you find yourself struggling with your emotions more than usual, your thoughts are dark, please reach out for help. Sometimes just talking to someone can make all the difference.
There are times when there is literally nothing we can do to stop a person from taking their own life. And yet sometimes we can prevent suicide from taking place.
If you or someone you know is in an emergency, you can call The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255) or again, call 911 immediately.
Andrea says
Thank you Ashley- informative and insightful . Perhaps one way to view suicide is as a silent killer.
I suspect this post will save a life.
❤️Mom