If you were to ask any parent or educator I would wager a bet that you will hear some version of “It’s a total shit show!”
And they would not be wrong.
I have looked at every viable school option for my kids and every option has merit just as every option could end in some form of disaster. In essences everyone is correct which perhaps is why this has turned into a total shit show.
To be completely honest with you I have not cried this hard or this much since my divorce. I am a woman on the edge with my sensitivity at an all-time high. It is making others issues that arise even more challenging to respond to in a healthier way. And why you might ask? Well, this whole thing has gotten a little ugly.
For starters, there are no right answers. If a parent or educator were to create a weighted pro/con list most likely it will be about equal which makes the decision making even more challenging. Being in this place can be overwhelming and infuriating to say the least.
Some are at the mercy of a school board from hell. There are the sensible school boards making decisions based on facts and science. And then there are the school boards who believe in unicorns and fairies and very wishful thinking. Unfortunately it is this kind of thinking that can be very dangerous because appropriate and necessary safety measure and action plans are not put into place to keep kids, staff and teachers, families and communities safe.
For some families, virtual learning is not a feasible option as there are many parents who have to work out side of the home and do not have anyone to be at home with their kids. Some parents are totally okay with sending their kids back to school while other families are terrified to send them. And while there are plenty of teachers and staff ready to be in the classrooms there are some who are scared out of their minds. In other words parents and educators are all over the map on this one.
What we know of school to be is not what it is now. When I explained what school would look like to my kids my daughter immediately said she wanted to stay home. Our deputy superintendent said to a friend and fellow parent “school will be the place where fun died.” Honesty can be a real bitch sometimes can’t it? While a little positivity would be nice at a time like this, in many ways he is not wrong. At least not in a county where Covid number are rapidly increasing which means even more safety measures.
Since the numbers are high in many cities and perhaps some school districts have not used science to create a safe learning space, there are families who feel the only option is virtual. Some districts have gone that route while others have provided it as an option. I cannot speak to all districts ours has decided that if parents go with virtual learning then we will have a district teacher and no longer our school teacher. This immediately disconnects the virtual students from their school community. I know I was not alone when I broke down in tears when this decision was announced and voted on. I did reach out to our principal and offered to help our PTO keep the virtual students connected to our school. It is something at least, but it will not be the same. Even if the district has to go virtual, we would still be with our district assigned teacher.
Me personally, since the kids and I are considered high risk it has been a no-brainer to do virtual or homeschooling. I have done the research. I have spoken to specialists and even the ones who believe elementary school age kids should be back in the classrooms find us to be “complicated”. Heck even after going through all the options my kids voted to stay home. Unfortunately the decision is not just up to me. Their dad has a say in this too. Until this past Monday evening, he wanted the kids doing five days a week face-to-face. You can imagine how scary and upsetting this has been as it has added a layer of complex emotions to an already emotionally heightened situation.
Thankfully Jake and Alivia’s dad and I were able to sit down with a pro/con list and talk openly about what is best for Jake and Ali as well as our family. In the end we decided on selecting virtual learning with the help of Jake’s retired kindergarten teacher, babysitters and grandparents. While Jake did fairly well with virtual learning last spring, Ali struggled quite a bit. Our plan and hope is having a few other in-person adults will help her engage more.
While I felt an enormous relief after the decision was made for Jake and Ali to do virtual at least for the first trimester, I have all sorts of emotions swirling inside of me and I do not think I am alone. My heart is heavy with sadness that we all are in this position yet again. I know I have been naïve at times to think things will go back to some resemblance of normalcy. I am extremely angry at our school board for the many lies and bait n’ switches which has put all of the district, educators, staff and families in a position to either make tough decisions and/or scramble to get the school year started. Lastly, I am really worried about all of our beloved school staff, friends and families who are going face-to-face because we just don’t know what can happen.
So I ask you…
For all the grandparents, other family members, friends and colleagues please understand the parents of children between the ages of kindergarten thru seniors in high school are under even more pressure to keep them alive and safe, provide education, continue with extracurricular (which can mean scholarships for many) and still stay employed. I strongly encourage you to reach out to your people to check-in, lend an unbiased ear or even offer to help in some way if at all possible. It takes a village to raise the future of our country, our world and we need the help.
Please, parents and educators alike, if anyone in your world offers any type of unbiased support and even help, I strongly encourage you to take them up on it. I know accepting help is not always easy but there is nothing easy about what we are experiencing right now. Maybe a family member offers to take the kids for a walk to the park so you can get a break. Perhaps a friend who happens to be a great listener can help you with decision you need to make. Whatever the offer try to say “yes, thank you, I will take you up on that” or some variation of that.
As a dear friend of mine said a variation of this, “well, we finally have made our decisions now the hard part begins.” Safety plans in place, classrooms re-designed, new methods of teaching created, home classrooms established once again and the teacher begins educating. How do we keep the kids at school masked up, hands off each other engaged and learning? How do we keep the kids at home engaged in learning off a screen majority of the day all the while the parent(s) try to work and facilitate? Either way is not ideal. Either way will have its own fair share of challenges. Either way we will need to support one another.
While it may look different than last spring, we still are all cast members in this shit show and I for one have your back.
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